Monday, November 16, 2009

Reporting LIVE from -SPAM BOX

It’s embarrassing & I really don’t want to write about it but somewhere , something

deep down inside me is pushing my fingers ,pumping my heart and torturing my

brain (I do have one) to go for it and to write a small report about an accident ,after

which I found myself in somebody's SPAM BOX.

One day as usual I was delivering my valuable views and sermons to one of

my friend BASANTI (name changed without a request); she belongs to the

majority of the population who consider my real-time views & sermons as

PJ’s – poor joke / pathetic joke. While discussing a national issue i.e. “ how

could I find a girlfriend??” all of a sudden my eyes got stuck on a display

picture on her profile, it was a very pleasing sight - there was a girl with

“jhuunki paalkein & mishti thobra” .

Without wasting any time ,I enquired about her and found out that that she was Basanti’s classmate

DHANNOO, Instantly Basanti’s respect in my eyes quadrupled. For probably 3832nd time wind chimes ,

guitar strings etc etc all started to play at once inside my Dolby digital

sound box .As a typical “nirlojjo” and a honest, responsible and law

abiding citizen of republic of India I immediately went to her profile

,clicked on add as a friend and typed something strange & then clicked

send. But BSNL BROADBAND–which is “best hain mere liye” was not

quite happy with me ,then & there got disconnected. I was not able to

access my broadband for next 12 days . The Dolby effect of 3832nd time

almost faded away ,when again all of a sudden while scrapping Basanti she came into my notice. We

addressed “Dhannoo” as comrade between us. I again gathered some info’s

about comrade and

forwarded the much awaited friend request.

It took me more than a week to understand that :

I was rejected. I thought it was a mistake. So,

I tried for second time, I again got rejected. So, thought lets’ try

again for one last time.

Then the third time. Result was no different. All of a sudden I was loving this rejection game.

Fourth – result was as good as 3 previous trials.

Fifth - I was becoming a pro at it.

All this while I kept Basanti updated of my deeds, coz “why should she miss all the fun”???

Then after few days came the all important sixth trial.

Sixth trial – got a scrap in response. Which read “sorry, jara faltu bengali commercial film community te

thake tara amar friend list e thake na....” .

Ok. Now at least she had shown a “valid” re-as-on. Though to my understanding it was bit weird. It was

only at that point of time , I was enlightened that watching or joining a bengali commercial film

community was such a big crime(next to murder). I thanked my lord ,thanked myself for not yet being

nailed or jailed for committing the heinous crime thrice.

I asked Basanti “eta ki holo??Prem Amar community join korechi bole erom korbe??”

Basanti said “chi chi chi.....lajja kore naa?? siggir community ta delete kor...mass comm er student k line

marchis aar Prem Amar dekhchis?? federico fellini, Elia Kazan dekh..”

I registered my point that it had one of the best bengali songs in it.

Basanti hit back with “kichu hobar nei...erakom keora type films pochondo korle kissssu hobe naa!!”

“Be a aatel and watch Federico fellini, Elia kazan and likes, then only you can be considered

I honestly heard these names for the very first time, so took little more than usual to reply. The reply

was short “era kara?”

You are bound to feel little angry, little pissed and little of everything else when you come across these

things. So did I .

I even suggested my partner in crime Basanti that “dekha hole , oke KAMRE dis”

But I was “nirlojjo” enough to push through my seventh friend request .

Seventh - in-between the sixth and seventh trial I got few more response from that side. All those were

very encouraging.

It was so encouraging that I found myself being blocked. Spam box was

my latest address. First time is always special , I bet you all will agree

on that , don’t you??? So I am enjoying my stay. During my stay

in-here I got two more messages from that side

“community unjoin korle ami join korte pari...” and

unjoin korle spam block thakbe na...”

I wanted to reply to them, but couldn’t as I was blocked.

So now Dhannoo was laying down terms and conditions. It was great ; a mass com graduate definitely

doesn’t deserve to have a “non sense” guy , who has a PREM AMAR in his list of communities to be her


Even I was thinking of removing that community as my purpose of getting the link to download the music

video’s was served(am selfish). But after all this I really don’t want to remove it. Instead I would try my

best and try hard to become the moderator of the community and mail her an “invitation” to join.

I am a big fan of “Robert Bruce and the spider “ story…. So do I have a fascination towards number eight.

If at all I get unblocked someday I will go for it again…..oohh yeaah!!

Moral of this piece of shit :-

· Spam box is not that bad a place to be in.

  • try try & fail ,but never fail to try!!!!!

P.S -
i know my tastes are cheap ,still i would recommend all those who wasted 5 min of their

valuable time on this piece of shittttt, to go thruough this video which really worth a "tuki"


ankita banerji said...

jioh...erakom kichu protest i to amader chai...egiye jaa amra tor pechone achi...discrimination manchi naa, manbo naa!!

udatto said...

jodio cinemata ami dekhini, kintu orkut er shaadhin nagorik hishebe jekono community join korar odhikar tor achhe bole ami bisshash kori. tai karur threat mene oi community unjoin korishna. besides, spam box er confined life jokhon eto tai enjoy korchhish, tokhon what the heck!! chaliye ja. tor jodi mone hoy, tobe ekta notun community khol prem amar er ar shekhan theke oke joining er request patha :-)aar btw, jaagere jaagere rockssss big time!

dwaipayan said...

cool man!! i just love ur style of writing

Unknown Stranger said...

likhis ki kore ato valo yet advut but mindblowing nd superlative e jaja valo ache segulo???????????? ufffff..akta experience mairi tor lekha pora....I bet tui r kota lekh nd people will start forgetting Chetan Bhagat...Just kichu bolar nei!!!!!!

priyanka banerjee said...

i feel for DHANNO the most, had to take the pain of clicking NO to ur consistent pestering for 7/8 times!!!!!!BECHARI......and ma kasom basanti really gave u some good them......they r classy stuff....but no point in impressing someone changing ur bhaggar taste!!!!!!!!

Rohan said...

Toke add na korar karon ta daruun... Besh innovative karon.. Ami ei mey tar fan hoye gechi.. ami ki or link ta pete pari.. Dekhi amake ko baar reject kore.. :D

Btw.. Prem Amaar,Prem Tomaar,Prem Sobaar joto parbi community join kor..They "pathor" mama... R emni request pathatey thaak... :P

Rohan said...

btw loved the video..

Life = Risk :)

Ranendu said...

Only from an ANALYTICAL view I can say that, when seven times a repetition have been carried out, and the same result follows every time, then its not a random error! Its a systematic error which may not be avoided. But still "Ashai More Chansha" and more over there is 'Robert' da (whose deeds are still encouraging CPIM to gain back the license to kill us!), so not to be disappointed at all; may be surprisingly at the very next time she will feel 'PREM AMAR'(read TAHAR) is saying 'Kuch kuch'! (HOTA HAI aisa- believe me!)to her own mind and the whole situation may have a PORIBORTONER HAOWA! ( otai pal tolar adorsho samay). So I definitely will pray to all BABAs and MAs so that it may (happy + then=) happen !!!!!!!

Sandy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandy said...

Keep trying mate..By the way, why have you chosen the name "DHANNO" to indicate that girl..I guess, that was the name of the GHORI in SHOLAY..
Please do throw some light on that to enlighten with your imaginative and innovative naming...
At the end, honestly I thoroughly enjoyed going through it..
Waiting eagerly for the update i.e, 8th attempt and then on..

Anonymous said...

sobure mewa fole jantam...ajkal sobure blog je fole r tar taste je eto sundor hoy seta tui dekhiye pagla...

Abhrajit said...

Your sense of humour is good. I liked the style of writing. Make the language a little more formal, bhalo lagbe aro.

"Prem Amar" is targeted towards a category of people, to which this girl Dhanno doesn't belong. A sense of superiority works upon them, which nudges them to separate from that class of people. It is similar to as if you'll not add a nudist or a gay in your profile as you would not like your friends to know about that.

But that in no way means we'll sacrifice our part of daily life, which is essentially our very own.

sarthak said...

Just "Kotha hobe naa"!!!!!!! Keep blogging ...

Anonymous said...

bhai love da way u tried nd tried ...... bhai eta show korche ki amra sobai ek rr one more thing ....can i have dat basanty pro link i would also like to do da same ...nahole ghoshal ke die dibi kichu to out put beriyei asshbei ...hmm ny ways boss way u expressed ur view ,it will keep blogling our mind hence keep bloging hi hi

confuzd_soul said...

@ all ....

1.thanquu-zz for your comments...

2.sorry link ta dewa jabena,ami nije already onake onek tora ektu consider kor :)

pritishhalder said...

ami prem amar dekhchi....
khub hasir cinema...
specially jekhane hero heroine er morar dukhhe suicide korte jay aar
public er RAM kalani kheye bari phere...
emni cinema amader sastor pokhhe khub bhalo....

he he he.................

Anonymous said...

OMG.....7 times...POOR GIRL :D

Sandy said...

I am quoting these lines from your blog "Reporting Live from- Spam Box". For probably 3832nd time wind chimes ,guitar strings etc etc all started to play at once inside my Dolby digital sound box..
I would highly appreciate if you clarify why 3832nd
time and why not any other number..
Thanking you in advance..
Your blogs just rocks, man..

confuzd_soul said...

i wont can take back your "thanx" sandy :P

Sandy said...

Being an ardent fan of your blog, I guess I can ask for clarification. Now,as you have become a big author, why would you respond to a query from a small fan like me ??

roshni said...